The Edits That Haunt Us

Behind-the-Scenes of a Thriller: What Got Cut (and Why It Matters for Your Writing)

Dear Scribblers,

Tomorrow we are off to London for the Alternative Book Fair (and then back again for the London Book Fair on Tues-Thurs!) so we hope to see some of you on Saturday at Islington Central Library 10-5pm. Free, details here!

In honour of upcoming Mother’s day, I’ve rounded up some excellent books for gifting…

1. The Naming of Moths by Tracy Fells (short stories for Angela Carter lovers!)

“A strong element of the collection is its female-led stories. Despite the insertion of magic into the stories, they often feel like something many readers could have lived themselves. Tracy Fells has a certain understanding of the complexity of the human mind and heart.” - The Indiependent

2. Of Myths and Mothers (Anthology)

“‘The Last of the Nest-Gatherers’ is my favourite story in the collection. Set on the island of Palawan in the Philippines, it tells the story of a family of busyadores, nest-gatherers who earn their living collecting the nests of swiftlets to sell for bird’s-nest soup. There is a mythology about how the swiftlets, known as balinsasayaw, came to build nests in caves using their saliva. There is also a belief that the nests have healing properties when eaten, making them a sought after commodity. This is a morality tale that warns against disrupting the balance of nature.” - Think About Reading

3. These Mothers of Gods - poetry by Rachel Bower

Yorkshire Times: "Rachel Bower has the capacity to unbutton emotion in one killing phrase".

Today starts a hopefully recurring series of deleted (or heavily reworked!) chapters (stories, or poems).

The behind the scenes look at what the FOTW backlist looked like before it reached your bookshelf! This is potentially a scary series for authors to take part in, so I thought I’d lead by example and share how my chapter two for psychological thriller ‘The Dark Within Them’ evolved - and the first iteration really makes me shudder here, very pleased it was deleted - so you’re welcome! There were, of course, more than three edits, but I’ve chosen to share the three more substantial edits, essentially from first draft to second, and then to the final published version.

For context…

Before this scene is a flashforward style prologue which covers:

Chad is leading a meeting of the Mormon church community in order to discuss his daughter, Gilly. Chad and his wife Amber claim they have noticed that Gilly has been struggling since moving to a new neighbourhood and after looking at her phone, they discovered she was sending inappropriate images to a boy outside of the church. Chad is honest about his struggles as a parent and the group agrees to help. The group's leader, Brett, suggests conversion therapy as solution: a creepy experimental practice he has invented.

And if you’re yet to read ‘The Dark Within Them’, we’re celebrating (almost!) one year since publication, so here is a tasty 10% coupon code for the FOTW website: THEDARK10 (expires 31 March 2025) - I’ll send you a signed copy! - or ebook available on Kindle here.

VERSION ONE

CHAPTER TWO

A light breeze blew soft grass against her ankles. The air was crisp on her tongue. Everything about France felt like luxury, and the château was exactly how it was described in the brochure. Elegance. And yet she felt awkward in her skin. As the château’s host welcomed her, she forced a smile.