On Self-Belief

'Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast' - The White Queen to Alice in Wonderland

A Very Happy Friday, Scribblers,

It’s exactly three weeks until our Summer party in Manchester! It would be very special if you could join us. Tickets here (accessible, dog-friendly venue!)

And the first tour date for feminist fantasy ‘Witchborne’ by Rachel Grosvenor is announced! Join us at Waterstones Deansgate, Manchester, September 11th, doors from 6.30pm. Tickets. Rachel is bringing a selection of medieval outfits for you to dress up in, so don’t miss out on the opportunity to look ridiculously cool and take photos! (Match made in heaven - Sunday Times best-selling author Jennifer Delaney loved Witchborne, so I asked if she wanted to launch her latest witchy sequel alongside!)

Now today’s main topic is a reflective one!

I’ve come to realise that running a business — a publishing house — is a journey of self-improvement. It’s a growing of myself and my vision. It’s an exercise in self-belief.

When I first began Fly on the Wall Press in 2018, I had no vision for what it could be seven years later. I simply wanted to work with other writers to create themed poetry and art anthologies, and to fundraise for certain charities. I was tired (within just a few months, I’m a restless creative!) of working bottom of the ladder in my first job post University, Theatre marketing, and I wanted a project to manage that I could really use my brain for!

There was always a sense of community in those early days. I communicated honestly with contributors — and especially with the first anthology, Please Hear What I’m Not Saying (now out of print) about our size (me!) and our budgets (none!). There was a sense of writers around the globe taking the project into their own hands: organising launches in Australia, the USA, and further afield.

In that first year, those 200 poets helped build an international community — and a conversation — based on shared values. It was incredible.

(Image: Our FOTW Irish weekend festival in 2022!)

Since 2019, I’ve introduced one new genre each year — poetry chapbooks, single-author short story collections, anthologies, novels, craft books — and with each addition, I’ve trialled my bravery and my finances!

Publishing takes patience. Unlike other industries, you can’t just test a product and immediately pivot. And even when you do receive feedback, knowing what’s subjective vs. constructively useful is its own skill.

And you can’t hide behind a screen. Publishing is about community — readers want to feel the heart of what we do. I’ll always be the best (and cheapest!) event host for our book launches, because people want to connect to the small business owner they are supporting. (And there’s a real joy in attending and seeing an author’s dream take form; hear them growing in confidence with each audience question – and then then huge grins behind their signing table! I’m the happy paparazzi.)

Readers buy indie for the values, the diversity, the proximity to the author and publisher. So, I had to be brave — to keep showing up.

There’s a concept I’ve come across: live as though you’ve already achieved your goals. It’s more than dressing for success — it’s about believing that you are already the business owner you want to be in five years. What would that version of you be doing, day to day?

I’m trying to answer this question now, and to put things in place so that I’m not always working evenings and weekends, so that I can take a break without guilt.

I realise it is not a skills gap, but perhaps there is a belief gap/ a nervous system gap. And I’ve realised that the more conviction I have in my decisions, the more the business grows. When I follow my gut instinct – that which comes from experience, not guesswork – we grow.

I was listening to Kevin O’Leary this week on The Diary of a CEO podcast (which is mostly sensationalist, but occasionally has gems). He shared that 90% of his female investees hit their goals, versus 60% of male ones. His theory? Women set more achievable goals.
(Feel free to get angry in the comments!)

This year, I set “realistic” revenue goals — and I’m already exceeding them. So maybe I wasn’t delusional enough? I often think of Alice in Wonderland:

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Much of the book industry seems to depend on people staying put. For example, the Books of the Month in chain bookstores? Those are decided two years in advance. Indies can’t even apply — the room is already full, the players set. (I’ve asked how to apply, and was told that I could not.)

Most indies seem content to stay at the scale that they already operate at. That mindset comes from exhaustion, which is understandable – growth comes with more workload - and an understanding that things move slowly in publishing. It’s easy to feel like nothing will change.

Look at the current lack of diversity — the monoculture of chain bookstore shelves: celebrity releases front and centre… followed by copycat covers… followed by the same few classics… followed by, maybe, something experimental from a quirky indie imprint.

We’re flooded with books, yet it feels harder than ever for quality stories to cut through.

Authors and indie publishers are tired. Tired of fighting to champion underdogs when it seems shareholders just want more fairy smut — and it seems, based on sales, that maybe readers do too.

But… do they?

P.S. We’re sending these protection spells in a bottle to the first 30 readers to pre-order ‘Witchborne’ from our shop direct here - not many left!

Why Not Us?

This year, I spoke to a bookseller at Waterstones Glasgow who thanked me for sending a proof of Witchborne by Rachel Grosvenor — a feminist fantasy novel, with a historical slant, no romance subplot. “We’re just so tired of the romantasy trend,” they told me. “It’s all starting to blur together.”

Of course, The Bookseller still reports romantasy signings in six-figure deals weekly — but it makes you wonder: is it what readers really want, or just what they’re being fed?

Indie presses like ours are fighting to offer something different — something bold, beautifully written, and outside the algorithm. And that means pushing back against the idea that staying small (and safe) is the only sustainable model.

This idea of “stay in your lane” is insidious. I’ve never wanted to be small. And we’re not small — not with over 80 titles and more than 400 authors.

So why not us?

Why can’t we grow with no external funding, just book sales?
Why can’t we be front of the chain bookstores?
Why shouldn’t we be the exception?

It’s a fight to prove ourselves — to bookshops, to reps, to readers, to libraries, to retailers. But I finally believe in myself. I believe in what we’ve built. And I stand by everything we’ve achieved.

We are Fly on the Wall Press — and with you, lovely Scribblers, we are anything but small 😊

Love,

Isabelle

P.s. Social media post of the week -

(I’ve been comparing the narrator’s voice to Patrick Bateman to my book reps! This reader took the words out of my mouth haha. GRQ the novella available from our shop here and all good bookshops internationally now.)